Dumbass

Idiot Hit-Whore: “iPhone 6 Sales Record Disappointing”

Paul Ausick, 24/7wallst.com:

Apple Stock was trading at $103.02 about 15 minutes before Monday’s opening bell. The stock’s 52-week range is $63.89 to $103.74.

To say that this is a true disappointment may seem like it is “fire for effect.” The problem we have with the press release is that if it was truly phenomenal news then the stock would be up several percent and hitting new highs yet again. So far, that is not the case Monday.

Wtf?

Clearly this joker hasn’t been watching AAPL very long. Most of the time there is a dip after a a major event like this (keynote, preorders, product release).

I challenge this guy to show when in Apple’s history its stock went up several percent after “truly phenomenal news”. I would say 4 million preorders in 24 hours is “truly phenomenal news-no matter what company announces it.

Courtesy: hdw.eweb4.com

My iPhone 6/6 Plus Preorder Fun

With the preorders allegedly going live early today (12:01 AM Pacific), I was prepared for a long night of CMD + R in several different browser tabs. I say “allegedly” because I have yet to see an iPhone/iPad preorder night go smoothly. And I’ve been doing this every year since Apple adopted the preorder system.

Every year Apple’s website crashes, and so do those of the wireless carriers. This year was no different.

What the hell can’t they get their shit together?

By now, Apple, et al, have got to know there will be a crushing demand for the latest iDevice, and their sites will be inundated by the traffic of rabid buyers. Yes, I’m one of them every year.

So knowing this is coming, why can’t they properly and adequately prepare for the onslaught?

So Mrs. TechShizzle and myself dutifully hit the inter webs hard a few minutes before midnight.

The Apple Store site is down. No problemo-we were early.

But as the minutes ticked by, it became painfully obvious that we had another clusterfuck on our hands. Knowing that if we didn’t get onboard now, it could be well into November or even December before we obtained our Precious. And while I don’t mind spending the night on the sidewalk of our local Apple Store, that has proven fruitless on more than one previous launch. And I really didn’t want to do it again this year. So we soldiered on.

Between several open Safari tabs, the Apple Store app on both my iPhone and iPad, (and my wife’s same routine), we finally saw signs of life about 2:00 AM. That is to say that while Apple’s site was still down, we could at least hit the “Continue” button on the apps before being timed out and forced to start over.

Finally about 2:30 I was able to get through and get a reservation number. I was trying various combinations of phone and specs to see what would go through. I wound up with a reservation for a 6P/Space Gray/128. A little loopy from lack of sleep and with cramped “refresh fingers”, I didn’t take a screen shot of the reservation page on the iPhone Apple Store app. Was it a dream? Did it really happen? In the debacle, will my reservation wind up lost?

My wife’s 6/Gold/128 got through to a reservation page as well. She went to bed.

I kept going, and was finally able to order the same spec iPhones through Apple’s site about 3:15 AM or so. My wife’s would be available for pickup on 9/19, but mine have to be shipped “7-10 business days” after launch. Damn.

Good enough.

This morning I thought I’d call Apple to see if I could use my reservation number to possibly pick mine up on launch day since I reserved it an hour before I actually was able to complete a purchase. After a 20 minute hold time I spoke with a prototypical Apple specialist who said no one else she had talked to this morning was trying to do what I was attempting. After a brief hold to confer with a supervisor, she came back to tell me it couldn’t be done. Said that even though I have a reserved phone that was reserved well before my actual purchase, if I tried to use it I would be stuck with current shipping delays. WTF?

So I got off the phone and called again to get another rep.

The next CSR was very cordial and polite like the first. He understood what I was trying to do, but said I’d be better off sticking with what I had as the reserved one would have a much longer shipping time, and that I was “much better off than most people”. Ok, done.

But this doesn’t make any sense-what the hell did I reserve? Why wouldn’t the reservation “hold my place in line”? Can I really trust their cloud services enough to keep important files on iCloud Drive? Does Apple have this whole “online services” thing figured out. Signs point to “no”.

So I don’t know how Apple couldn’t prepare for this; it’s not their first rodeo.

Ok, I’ve vented and feel a bit better.

And, yes, I know there are a lot more important things in the world to be concerned with.

 

Courtesy: The Verge

Flappy Bird Coming Back

TechCrunch:

It’s Episode XVII of the Flappy Bird Saga, and this time the formerly recalcitrant (he’s on a media tour at the moment) creator of the addictive game is promising the game’s return, eventually, complete with multiplayer.

Nguyen told CNBC’s Kelly Evans the news on the network’s Closing Bell program today, albeit with the caveat that the game wouldn’t be coming anytime “soon.” It’ll also be less addictive, he says, which is great news for people who enjoy their lives and living them to the fullest.

Holy, Christ-why?

Oh yeah-it’s the money.

Courtesy: CNET

China’s Xiaomi Mi Pad is an iPad mini Ripoff

CNET:

The Mi Pad liberally borrows from Apple’s design. The tablet is clad in shiny plastic that’s very similar to the iPhone 5C, and comes in five vibrant hues. The appearance and shape, however, is similar to the iPad Mini — in fact, the company made several comparisons to the Mini’s features during its presentation.

Does this really surprise anyone?

I think the only surprising part is that it’s not Samsung…

Courtesy: The Oatmeal

Elon Musk Will Donate More Money to Build the Oatmeal’s Tesla Museum

Mashable:

The Oatmeal’s effort to save Nikola Tesla’s old laboratory and turn it into a museum took a major turn on Wednesday, when Tesla Motors founder Elon Musk committed to donating more money.

Led by Matthew Inman, creator of The Oatmeal, the campaign, launched on Indiegogo in 2012, and raised nearly $1.4 million dollars. However, Inman said those funds will only be enough to save the existing laboratory, and that more funds are needed to actually build a new facility to house the museum.

Concerning Musk:

@Oatmeal I would be happy to help

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 14, 2014

This is just awesome!

I think when you look into it, it’s really easy to conclude that Tesla was one of the most innovative human beings to ever walk the planet. The way he was taken advantage of by Henry Ford and others is a black mark on our heritage.

From The Oatmeal:

1

DSC_0845-1024x683

Parrot Intros Bebop Drone and Skycontroller

Parrot:

Today, after 5 years of development, we are excited to introduce you Parrot Bebop Drone, a ultra-light drone with a full HD camera digitally stabilized on its 3-axis.

Here’s their promotional video:

 

Parrot also announced the Skycontroller iPad/iPhone add-on controller with amplified Wifi to increase the range to 1.2 miles.


skycontroller-packshot-1024x732

 

What?! Oculus Rift support?

 

ScreenShot335

 

Well, I have the Parrot Drone 2.0, and love it. It lets me re-live my childhood when I LOVED remote control anything. To think that when I was a kid a LONG time ago, the only remote control planes were hand-built gas-powered money pits.

I eventually grew up and have owned 2 “real” planes (Cherokee 140 and Cherokee 6), so I lost interest in remote control planes, but have really enjoyed my Drone and the videos I’ve been able to take with it.

Parrot says the Bebop will be available sometime Q4.

I have one thing to say to them:

acb

Beats Separate But Equal?

John Gruber:

Jon Maples on the Apple/Beats Acquisition

Jon Maples:

While music purchases may be falling, it’s still a big business for Apple. So instead of creating another option in iTunes that would potentially cannibalize download sales, why not just buy a service and keep it separate? Streaming blows up: Apple wins. Streaming doesn’t pan out, well, they still have the iTunes store chugging along.

Best take I’ve read so far, and the first to make a case that the separate (and established) Beats brand makes sense as a separate entity from iTunes.

I love reading Gruber, but nope, not gonna happen. Apple promotes Apple.

Update: You heard it here first: “iTunes on Demand”.

 

Courtesy: Forbes

Apple Buying Beats?!

Lots of outlets have been reporting for the last 12 hours that talks are in the final stages between Apple and Beats, with the former set to purchase the latter for a reported $3.2 Billion.

Citing sources close to the deal, The Financial Times on Thursday reported that an Apple-Beats tie up could happen as early as next week. The publication cautioned, however, that final details have yet to be hammered out and talks may ultimately dissolve.

News of the rumored talks have been corroborated by BloombergThe Wall Street Journal and The New York Times, among others. 

Under the supposed deal, Apple would gain control of Beats’ audio hardware division as well as the firm’s subscription-based music streaming service. The Beats management team would report to Apple CEO Tim Cook.

Well, I’ll be damned.

Lots of hand-wringing and second-guessing going on here by the technorati.

And rightly so.

I don’t get it. Beats’ hardware is (at best) over-priced, and (at worst) subpar. Certainly Apple could hire an expert to shore up it’s headphone hardware if it wanted to. Does Beats have some other hardware in the pipeline that has piqued Apple’s interest? Doubt it.

That leaves Beats’ rather underperforming streaming service.

Reports are that it’s not a bad service, with a large library and good curation. I wouldn’t know, I’ve been happy with Spotify and iTunes Radio. I haven’t felt the need to even explore Beats’ offering. Based on the reported 200,000 subscribers numbers thrown around the internet, I’m not alone.

The only thing that makes any sense of this comes from the negotiated contracts with the record companies angle. It’s pretty well-known that the recording industry has felt that they have given up too much control of music sales and distribution to Apple thanks to iTunes. This is why we haven’t seen the kind of easy access to movies and television shows like was have with music: motion picture, television, and cable companies have been much more restrictive of allowing Apple access to their products. It also explains why we haven’t seen a Spotify-like streaming service from Apple yet-the music companies are playing hardball with their negotiating tactics.

The Beats acquisition might change this situation if (BIG “IF”) the contracts Beats was able to negotiate with the record companies for it’s streaming service are transferrable. They must be, or else what would Apple have to gain from this?

Tim Cook has been talking up Apple’s acquisition strategy the last few earnings conference calls. Certainly, Apple has a war chest unlike anything seen in modern business.

But Beats?

Unless Apple knows something we don’t (and I have to assume they do), this seems really small-minded. Not that Apple is sinking by any means, but this seems to be a bit like shuffling the deck chairs on the Titanic. Apple has bigger fish to fry (cloud services comes immediately to mind).

When Apple pulls the trigger on Yahoo!, I’ll feel much better.

Courtesy techfever.net

Samsung: Lying, Cheating, Stealing Sacks of Shit

Vanity Fair does a fantastic job of describing the Smartphone Wars between Apple and Samsung.

One day in March 2011, cars carrying investigators from Korea’s anti-trust regulator pulled up outside a Samsung facility in Suwon, about 25 miles south of Seoul. They were there ready to raid the building, looking for evidence of possible collusion between the company and wireless operators to fix the prices of mobile phones.

Before the investigators could get inside, security guards approached and refused to let them through the door. A standoff ensued, and the investigators called the police, who finally got them inside after a 30-minute delay. Curious about what had been happening in the plant as they cooled their heels outside, the officials seized video from internal security cameras. What they saw was almost beyond belief.

Upon getting word that investigators were outside, employees at the plant began destroying documents and switching computers, replacing the ones that were being used—and might have damaging material on them—with others.

What?! Samsung employees destroyed the evidence of their copying and stealing? I doubt that many members of the Technorati who have followed the Apple/Samsung patent battles would be surprised to hear of this, but the extent that Samsung would go to cover up their blatant illegal activity is shocking nonetheless.

But it wasn’t the first time…

Still, some Samsung executives saw a path for boosting profits by boldly and illegally fixing prices with competitors in some of their top businesses.

And…

In 2007, its former top legal officer, Kim Yong-chul, who made his name as a star prosecutor in South Korea before joining Samsung, blew the whistle on what he said was massive corruption at the company. He accused senior executives of engaging in bribery, money-laundering, evidence tampering, stealing as much as $9 billion, and other crimes. In essence, Kim, who later wrote a book about his allegations, contended that Samsung was one of the most corrupt companies in the world.

I remember these allegations when they first came to light, but after reading about the full extent off their illegal collusion, it has more significance.

It disgusts me to even read the linked Vanity Fair article. Samsung has a history of stealing IP, countersuing when caught, then settling on the eve of having it’s infringing products banned. Through it all, their profits more than offset the settlements, penalties, and jury awards.

Fuck you, Samsung.

Darth Vader Ukraine

Darth Vader Runs for Mayor in Ukraine

NBCNews:

Voters in Odessa and Ukraine’s capital Kiev will be given the chance to vote for “Darth Nikolayevich Vader” in mayoral elections scheduled for May 25, according to a representative of the Sith Lord’s party.

Damn, I forgot to register.

Besides, I thought Darth Vader was about to invade Ukraine from the North….